Friday, May 8, 2009

The Great Poop Disater of 2009

I woke up the other morning to my oldest (Ethan, 5) opening my door and informing me that CJ (the youngest, 2) had to go potty. First I love how kids have to refer to it as potty, because I guess saying bathroom or toilet would be too hard to understand. Anyway so I pull my tired ass out of bed, (Dad was at work and I had work till almost midnight the night before) I look at my clock and it says 7am. (shit, this is way to early for me)

I make my way into the bathroom through the second door and just as I open it I'm blasted in the face with a stench that could kill a rhino, I was stunned. As conscience thought came back into my head a few seconds later I looked around our bathroom. I first focused on CJ who told me he had to poop, then my eyes fell down to the diaper that was still wrapped around his ankles filled front to back with poop. Then I notice something horrible happening, he is in fact still pooping. I make a run to get him on the toilet by first and formost not spilling the contents of the diaper on the floor. This proves no easy task and by the time I actually get him on the toilet, he is finished.

I ask Ethan to run downstairs and get me a plastic bag to put the nasty diaper in, he comes back with huge garbage bag. After trying to explain to him that a plastic grocery bag will do just fine he returns triumphant. I ask him to hold it open and he gives me this horrified look, wads the bag up into a ball, throws it at me, and makes a run for it. This is the point where I finally calm down and start looking around.

The first place I looked was down where I was sitting. I had missed a huge pile of doo doo by just mere inches, then I realize it's EVERYWHERE. I'm not exagerating either, it was on every surface except the ceiling in the bathroom. It's on the counter, the toilet, the shower, the bathtub, the back of the toilet (?) the doors, cabinets, and of course...the floor. I started to cry. This was the first time I had to clean up this much poop and I wanted to vomit. I called their dad at work who offered me comforting laughter, needless to say it didn't make me feel any better. I cleaned the poop up, it took me about an hour but I got it all gone. After that I calmly explained to the boys that from now on if they need to poop, wait till daddy gets home.

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